little helena’s big adventure…

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ok so apparently i stumped gregg on what i’m doing for my research topic for ideas. what i want from this trip is essentially to soak in as much as i can. I want to see the city and i want to see the people. the reason why i took this class was to hopefully find out what i want to do vocational in theatre. i feel like there are so many options that i haven’t even fathomed. there are so many ways i think i can be involved in the theatre as work, but still love it as my passion.

if i could find a world that perfectly blended my love for visual art and theatre… i would take it. or at least start learning how to do it now so i will be able to do it in the future.

i’m going to set up a meeting with gregg to hopefully buckle down on something substantial. i trust gregg, and hopefully we can come with some thing to do with my self.

well, when i see images like this it really helps me put things into perspective. we all have our lives… and we all have our hopes and dreams. your own personal life seems like the most important thing… but to someone else, of course, their life is the most important. when i think about the affect i can have on the world i live in, i have to be practical but still hopeful that i can cause change.

this idea is very important in my process to understand joan in Far Away. I have this image of joan being the young activist that thrusts herself into something bigger… thinking that she can stop the war… stop the pain. but it can’t be just one person. she has a naive look on the world, and she hasn’t thought everything through. she is risking her life for something she may not fulling believe in.

i, of couse, want to make my mark… but what will it be? what will i have to sacrifice? what will i have to go through to achieve it?…. only time will tell.

this was from this past saturday (thought i should post it anyway)

well here we are….i mean i am. i’m sitting in the box office awaiting the time i get to play with hats! haha. today mitch and i get to work with the milliner. (aka the guy who makes the hats). I’m excited- it should be fun and very different.

last night i think all of us had a great rehearsal. not gonna lie- i was nervous. I’ve been nervous for every rehearsal. I don’t know if that’s a good thing…but gregg has been talking a lot of hearing the words in the piece, and hearing how beautiful and lyrical the words are. the more we read it the more i hear it. even though i may not understand everything fully, i can still hear the beauty in it.

for some reason i’m having difficult time talking (typing) right now… so maybe i’ll use the save button… and continue this later?….

well today has been….well a little ridiculous.  I don’t want to ramble about my day…but maybe i will.  It all started off at 8:15 when i woke up, then a tedious geography lab for 2 hours, then theatre management… never mind i’m even getting bored with this schedule.  But the day was filled completely with endless things to do.  I some how managed to carry on with a smile for the whole day… until the very end of the day.  Rehearsal was going really well, and I felt like progress was definitely being made… but then while backstage I had the worst case of overwhelmed/overheated/dizzy feeling.  I did my best to push through and was sucessful for most of it, but then just needed a break….

thats kinda how im feeling about mostly everything.  I feel like im doing the best i’ve done with time management and working under pressure and stress that i have ever done before.  i know i’m not going to get work done if i’m stressing about getting my  work done. even though i may have a pretty good grasp on my “to do list”…i’m a little lost about where i am.

this digital story about “where i am right now” is incredibly daunting for me right now.  i have a very vague idea of where i am… i’m know i’m here- at Mary Washington as a student… but what am i going to do with that. I’m really hoping that this class will help me figure it out.  thats probably why we are doing this assignment.  we get to see where we think we are… and then at then end of this experience we can actually see who we are.

but where to begin… i’ve had some ideas, of course, and written them down.  but nothing seems to strike me as a way i would like to present where i am right now in my life.  there is so much going on right now… and i’m not sure where its going or where it will end up.

but for right now to get a clearer idea …i think i need to sleep. hopefully tomorrow will be a better day

well literally about 15 minutes i finished the movie “Children of Men.” i have been trying to watch this movie for the past 5 days, but have been unsuccessful. finally tonight i had the time and the proper dvd.

ok… i’ll admit- it made me cry. I can’t remember the last time a movie made me cry (actually i do- dead poets society…but anways, that was still a long time ago) and i don’t mean just cry- it moved me. I was sitting in my comfy chair with head phones on hearing nothing else besides the story. i have been saying that this movie might help me with my understanding of Far Away. the movie is about the world going to hell because women can’t have children any more. I related the mayhem aspect of this movie to Far Away. the story is so intense and scary -to think that the world could possibly be like that- so dark.

I felt immeresed in the story and the people. Almost all the characters in the movie barely knew each other but they sacrificed their lives for hope… for the future. I want how i felt while i watched this movie to be how i feel as Joan, in Far Away. I’m risking my life for hope, for peace. I feel like i have made one of the first big steps to grasping this play. When I read it the first time, I didn’t understand it, and couldn’t take it seriously. But now i think, If my world ends up anything like it is in Children of Men, I will risk my life- just like Joan. I may do it with a naive mind, but i’m still there- still trying.

I’m a visual learner, and i think seeing this world made the world of Far Away real to me. I’m still scared about this play, but i’m more intrigued; more intrigued to discover the world. I hope this doesn’t come out as fake- i may just be acting emotional… but I feel like i’m actually ready.

well tonight was interesting… to say the least. we had intentions of getting things done, but essentially things were just talked about. But that means we are on the road to finally figuring it out though… so yay! So much discussion about the endless hotels, and possible ways to travel is still bouncing around in my head, and it will till it’s finally figured out. Even though we were sick of hearing eachother talk for over 2 hours about all the possibilities, it is making us a stronger group.

there are so many things i want to do, and so many things that scare me about this class. but i realize that this will be a great experience in the end, even if it is a pain to figure it out right now.

I was reading Katie’s blog before and she was strongly expressing the fact that she would just love to figure this out all on her own…and she’s not afraid in the least to venture to New York alone. She said, “I realize that some people may find it really challenging to fend for themselves. Even though I think that sort of challenge is an excellent one and can teach people more about themselves than they know. Everyone should have to do that sometime.” I really want to learn about myself, and I have been looking forward to this experience for a long time. I really want to throw myself out there and challenge myself… but i’m scared shitless. I have been shelterd in my life, by my family and even by myself. Theatre has helped me so much already to “come out of my shell” and I am so grateful. I am looking forward to see where else theatre can take me in my life.

I really want to write something about Far Away…. but to be honest i’m sure exactly to say….i’m scared, excited, antsy, overwhelmed, etc. etc. It’s just a jumble of emotions and i just keep bouncing back and forth. I really need to escape into the play…the story, the relationships, the words- everything. i need to set aside a time- where ever it may be- to finally immerse myself in it. I have no idea how long it will take or what will happen along the way, but we shall see soon enough….i’ll keep you updated.

Alright, well so far the past couple of days have been full of mayhem and laughter. I seem to keep working and working, and then still having a list of things to do. The whole process of this course I know is so beneficial, but i’m not going to lie… i am intimidated. Intimidated by…newspapers, computers, log-ins (and never remembering what username or password i used for the 10 things i created this past weekend), rehearsals, discussions, and just overall work.

For Instance, last night- officially the 7th day of classes- I made the first (and definitely not the last) late night run to 7-11 to get a caffeine boost for the rigorous night ahead. Its only the 7th day!!!!!! and already i need coffee at 2am?! Things have already started boiling over. But the only way I was keeping a level head was because i was around people that i cared about and that they were going through the same thing with me. We all sat around mechanically and efficiently passing around the various magazines and newspapers…. and guess what? we finished it. I also some how managed to successfully finish my art project as well, and still laughed incredibly hard tp everything that was said around the table.

There are so many things coming up in the next couple weeks…but i will just have to take it a day at a time.

I also have to share this… i wish you could have seen the pure look of glee and joy when i finished my wiki post for cheap places to eat in New York. I had no idea i could feel so accomplished for just putting a bunch of bulleted lists on the internet.

talk to ya soon

so, we’ve been here in the acting lab for about 3 hours, and have had the best crash course on new technology programs that we are going to use…. its been….fun.

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